


Fuck me

by Igraine_smiley



Series: Quarantine season 2020 [7]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Concussions, Ghosts, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23977765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igraine_smiley/pseuds/Igraine_smiley
Summary: "BU TONUNDA ONLARA KONUŞMAYIN!" Nandor's ghost pushed his vampire counterpart and drew his sword again. Guillermo tried to stop the fight by getting between them but the ghost kept charging toward his master."What are you doing, you ghost piece of shit!?" Nandor moved Guillermo behind his broad body "Do you think I'm above kicking my own ass?! WELL, I'M NOT"
Relationships: Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV)
Series: Quarantine season 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666678
Comments: 16
Kudos: 234





	Fuck me

**Author's Note:**

> I got every Turkish sentences from google translate so they are probably bullshit. Sorry! Translations at the end.

Last time Guillermo saw Nandor's ghost, he had been trying to fight random objects around the house but the warrior had gone briefly out of his trance to speak to him. Guillermo couldn't understand a word he had said but the ghost eyes had been so tender. That look had felt so out of place on a man dressed in full Ottoman battle armor. The ghost kept looking at him with a fond face his master never had for him before. He couldn't spend much time with the ghost because Nandor, the vampire Nandor, ordered him to go finish his duties for the night. He seemed to be in a bad mood. As Guillermo left the room he heard the two Nandors arguing incoherently. The world was not ready for that. One Nandor was more than enough. Each one was shouting in his own language, engrossed into an imaginary argument. It was ridiculous. At least that wasn't his mess to sort out.

Guillermo spent the next few hours polishing his master's swords and axes. It wasn't the most exciting duty, but he still found cleaning the weapons quite relaxing and it was ten times less dangerous than cleaning the crystal chandelier. He could listen his master's ghost wreaking havoc around the house and he also heard strange muffed noises coming from a room upstairs. Guillermo didn't want to know what was going on between Laszlo and his ghost. He continued tending to the weapons until someone got into the living room slamming the door behind them.

"GIZMO!" Laszlo exclaimed "Why have you not clean up the... the ectoplasm from the roof... and the floor...and the ceiling? That room is a mess"

"Sorry, I have to finish some duties for my master first" he replied without taking his eyes from the reflective surface of a well cleaned blade.

"You are so slow, INCOMPETENT..."

"Onunla böyle konuşmaya nasıl cüret edersin!!!!" The ghost's voice boomed in the living room interrupting Laszlo's tirade of insults. The vampire rolled his eyes but before he could come up with a sarcastic comment he was hit by a spectral sword.

"Master!" Guillermo jumped to his feet dropping the blade to the floor.

"LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY CLOTHES, YOU BRUTE!!!" Laszlo complained. He brushed his hands frantically across his suit to wipe the sticky substance from it but it was useless "NANDOR!!! CONTROL YOU FUCKING GHOST!" He shouted but got no response in return "NANDOR!!!" he continued yelling as he left to look for the other vampire. Guillermo followed him with his eyes.

"Thank you, I guess" he said to his master's ghost.

"Çok güzel ve çekicisin" the ghost said as he put away his sword and slowly approached him. He had that tender look from before. Guillermo would give anything for his master to look at him like that.

"I can't understand you, master" he explained "I'm sorry"

Nandor's ghost got closer to him. It was weird to have someone so close but still not feel they breathe. The ghost caressed his arm with his knuckles.

"I... I have to take those to my master's room" Guillermo pointed at the pile of weapons, he could feel the ghost's eyes on him as he gathered them. It was the tricky part of the task. They were still sharp after all. The blades made a jarring noise as they scraped together. He hated it, somehow he could feel it inside his teeth. Gross.

"Sana yardım edeyim" Nandor's ghost was next to him when he turned around to get to the stairs. He looked at Guillermo expectantly "Bunları senin için taşıyacağım" the ghost said pointing at the weapons in Guillermo's arms.

"Huh? You want to help me?" he asked "I don't know if you can, honestly" Guillermo grunted as he put the heavy weapons into the ghost's arms expecting them to fall on the floor with a loud clatter. That didn't happen. He looked surprised as the ghost held the blades, swords and axes with little trouble "Oh! I guess it makes sense. That Gregor dude had messed with Laszlo's stuff after all" Nandor's ghost smiled "This way, master"

They got up stairs. Guillermo cursed when he saw the state of the room Laszlo had been nagging him about. He hadn't been exaggerating. It was a mess that would take forever to clean. It looked like Laszlo had fought his ghost or something like that. Nandor's ghost looked at him with a worried expression.

"Don't worry, master" he smiled "Laszlo made a mess, that's all" The ghost smiled back reacting to Guillermo's gentle tone.

Luckily Nandor's room was empty when they got to it. His master was probably still arguing with Laszlo. The ghost helped him hang all the weapons in an almost reverential silence that was making Guillermo super uncomfortable.

"It's much faster with help" he said when they finished "Thanks! You are so nice" he made a pause realizing how that must have sounded like "I mean... I'm not saying my master isn't nice, he's just..."

"Keşke ne dediğini anlayabilseydim" Nandor's ghost raised his hand towards Guillermo's face and softly stroke his cheek. He felt a jolt of electricity go down his spine "Hizmet ettiğim için mutluyum" Guillermo felt himself blushing hard.

"HEY YOU!!!" a loud scream ended the moment "UNHAND MY FAMILIAR THIS INSTANT!" Nandor got into the room in long strides. He looked absolutely furious. His thick eyebrows almost joined as he frowned at his familiar and his ghost "We talked about this"

"Master!"

"Guillermo" Nandor relaxed a bit and stopped yelling "You shouldn't let anyone do your duties for you. You are my familiar. Now, go fix my burgundy cape. I think it has a hole on it" he said dismissively waving a hand at him.

"BU TONUNDA ONLARA KONUŞMAYIN!" Nandor's ghost pushed his vampire counterpart and drew his sword again. It was an intimidating sight. The warrior seemed ready to strike Nandor. Guillermo tried to stop the imminent fight by getting between them but the ghost kept charging toward his master.

"What are you doing, you ghost piece of shit!?" Nandor moved Guillermo behind his broad body "Do you think I'm above kicking my own ass?! WELL, I'M NOT"

"Sen bir alçaksın" the ghost impaled Nandor with his sword, sending ectoplasm across the room. That was going to be a nightmare to clean. Who would have thought that ghosts would be that slimy?

"AHG! DISGUSTING!!" Nandor shouted and bared his fangs to the specter "Fuck you, ghost me!" the spectre growled "You hear me correctly, FUCK ME!"

"Masters, stop this!" Guillermo put himself between them again in an attempt to stop them from destroying the room. Nandor seemed to stop for a brief moment until the ghost spoke again.

"Seni koruyacağım aşkım" Nandor's ghost boomed with fire in his eyes. Whatever he said sent actual Nandor into a fit.

"Ona böyle deme" he hissed. Guillermo looked baffled as his master recovered his native language. Maybe the ghost insulted Nandor. The tension in the room escalated. Guillermo was a smart familiar, he outlived any human being working in the house. He knew he had to get out of the way. There was no use in trying to stop the fight anymore. He scattered somewhere behind Nandor's ghost, but he didn't realise the inmaterial entity wasn't much of a barrier. Nandor charged towards his ghost blinded by rage. He went thought the spectre like it was a thin curtain and ended it up crashing against his familiar. The last thing Guillermo felt was a sharp pain in his skull and suddenly everything went black.

Guillermo opened his eyes but the world around him was a blur. He identified the damp smell of his small room and noticed the musical accent of Nandor's ghost somewhere in the distance. There was something cold on top of his left hand.

"This is all you fault" Nandor said. He was crouched bedsides his small bed.

"Master?" He asked trying to focus his sight. He made an attempt to get up but a strong hand kept him pinned on the bed.

"Guieermo! You are awake"

"Iyi olacak mı?" Nandor's asked from the door.

"Shut it, I don't want to hear from you" the vampire snapped "Thank goodness you are awake, Guieermo" his master smiled. His eyes were impossible big "I... I mean... Colin Robinson, he... he was very worried about you. Yes, he was. You scared him when you fainted" he added because of course he would. His master would never show genuine concern over him but Guillermo still found the exchange heartwarming.

"What?" he asked a bit confused "What happened?"

"You hit your head because of this ghostly piece of shit" he pointed towards the door.

"Üzgünüm güzel" the ghost whispered taking a few steps inside the room.

"STAY THERE!" Nandor yelled making Guillermo wince. His head was still throbbing "Are you happy now?" he continued to address the ghost in a lower volume "Now my familiar has to stay in bed all night abandoning his duties. He might have to rest tomorrow too"

"Master! I still..."

"Unbelievable" Nandor ignored him "I guess I will have to spend the night finding out how to send you off. Let's go"

"Umarım bir gün tekrar buluşabiliriz" the ghost said smiling at Guillermo.

"I said, let's go" Nandor frowned and with that they left the room leaving a very confused Guillermo behind.

**Author's Note:**

> Onunla böyle konuşmaya nasıl cüret edersin!!!!: How dare you speak to him like this!
> 
> Çok güzel ve çekicisin: You are so beautiful. 
> 
> Sana yardım edeyim: Let me help you.
> 
> Bunları senin için taşıyacağım: I will carry these for you.
> 
> Keşke ne dediğini anlayabilseydim: I wish I could understand what you're saying.
> 
> Hizmet ettiğim için mutluyum: I am happy to serve.
> 
> BU TONUNDA ONLARA KONUŞMAYIN!:DON'T TALK TO HIM IN THAT TONE!
> 
> Sen bir alçaksın: You are a scoundrel.
> 
> Seni koruyacağım aşkım: I will protect you, my love.
> 
> Ona böyle deme: Don't call him that. 
> 
> Iyi olacak mı?: Is he ok?
> 
> Üzgünüm güzel: Sorry, beautiful. 
> 
> Umarım bir gün tekrar buluşabiliriz: I hope we can meet again someday.


End file.
